Two Faced

Ever since I took over Sarah's portfolio - Prison Care Services - in mid Jan, my take on what ordinary life is has been somewhat different. I constantly find myself having to conscientiously switch modes to make better sense of things. Besides having to supervise 8 staff now, I am also thrusted into the lives of inmates and their family members.

The two modes:

1. I'm at work. Visiting clients staying in a one/two room flat. There is nothing, no food left anymore. They eat bread with sugar. Daddy who is a drug addict, comes home only when he isvaguely sober and hungry - he eats his children's cereals. Their utilities supply get cut off again - for the umpteenth time. There is no water and no electricity. They sleep on mattresses that are so dirty. What? Mom's pregnant again??? They have no money, no money, no money. I am a social worker, trying to hold back my emotions from what is presented before me, and having to be professional and help the family to make sense of things. I push them forward, they take 1 step. I let go, they take 2 steps backward. What??? Daddy's gonna be charged in court for theft again??? Kids have nothing to wear. Babies have no more diapers, no formula. The kids drop out from school. They become mommies and daddies at 16. Their ambition is to stay out of incarceration and stay in sobriety. They have no God.

2. I'm with my family. I stay in a five room flat in Bishan (a considerably prestigious estate - thanks to the crazy prices of flats here). We drive a Honda. We have double income. My kids get to attend kindy. They speak proper English, they can count. They are healthy kids. They wear decent clothes. They get to sleep in their own room, with decent mattress on decent beds. They take their vitamins everyday. We have aircons and our kids think water from the tap will never stop flowing. We went to the Omnimax theatre yesterday and had KFC for lunch on Sat. My little girl takes violin lessons, my little boy takes art classes. I am a wife - I get to wear new clothes once in a while. I get to put make-up, perfume, earrings, necklaces and a wedding band everyday. I am also a mommy. I am assured that there will be food on the table for my children everyday. I get to hold my kids and enjoy kisses and cuddles everyday. We don't really get to go for holidays, but we get to watch Cable and see how other countries look like. My daughter has the ambition to be a doctor - a doctor who looks after little children with heart problems. My son wants to be a dinosaur-finder (aka paleontologist). We attend church, and we talk to our friends about the latest gadgets, the ups-and-downs of having two preschoolers to parent. We praise God everyday for our lives and all that is in them.

I sometimes have much difficulty moving from one zone to another. Yes, I am tired. I told my kids about a family I have been working with. In their little minds, they think I was telling a story - like Hansel and Gretel. They think every mommy loves her kids. And every daddy loves his wife. I told them this morning that I'm going into the Prisons to teach. They asked these questions:

- Do they have to handcuff you?
- Do the pp inside sleep on beds?
- Will they lock you up?
- Will we see you tonight?

Sigh.
May we never lose sight of God fingerprints in our lives and how blessed we are. And we should never, ever compare ourselves with others that seem to be better off and forget those in our society who are in lack.