Happy Anniversary Ma and Ba!

Today marks the 34th Wedding Anniversary of my parents. Married for 34 years, pat-tor for 40 years! GOSH! Being a marital counsellor, I sometimes find it hard to believe such years still exist in a world like this! I still remember my Dad used to tease Mom by saying this "We knew each other 13, we went to buy school uniforms together at 15, and got married at 23!"




When I was a little gal, I used to cringe whenever i hear my parents giggling behind us when my siblings and I are watching TV. They weren't openly intimate, but you can sense that they are crazy about each other.


My mom told me when I was dating, that Dad had never once said "I love you" to her. I didn't find that that hard to believe cos as a Dad, he'd never said that to us as well, not to mention hug or kiss us. Ironically, as a Grand-dad now, he is alot more liberal with his expressions of affection. He would reply "Orh! I love you too!" to Megan whenever she tells him how much she loves and adores him. And whenever Joejoe runs to him with a surprise hug and kiss, he won't shy away, but would affectionately hug him back.

As I was growing up, I remembered the most unusual/outwardly expressive thing he did to Mom was to buy her flowers on their anniversary each year. And the number of lilies (mom's fave) would increase with the years. 20 years - 20 lilies. 30 years - 30 lilies.

I can't remember when it was when Mom showed me a love letter Dad wrote to her (in Chinese). Still can't quite believe that Dad was the author of that letter. You see, Dad came from a pretty well to do family. Mom was one of the 3 daughters brought up single-handedly by my Granny after my Grandfather passed away when Mom was only 15 yrs old. So in comparison, Mom was considered poor. Lots of my dad's "well meaning relatives" told him that Mom married him for money, or that he should look for someone who was of a more compatible socio-economic status. Most adamant of them all were my paternal granny, who really "looked down" on my Mom and her family. So in this handwritten letter, with chinese characters that looked like they were dancing (Dad had beautiful handwriting!), Dad professed his undying love to Mom. He said he won't care what others think. He just wants to be with her. GOSH! Mushy? Definitely. Touching? That too!

5 years ago, my Dad's business failed and he had to be declared bankrupt. The years leading on to that were the most trying years, cos the family went from a family that were comfortably well to do, to one that couldn't own any assets. It was really very difficult, esp for my parents. But I can see that they found strength in each other, as they are still doing that now. They downgraded to a 3 room flat & boasted of how they can still keep all their things in this little space they have now. They travel by public transport but they make it exciting by competing who knows what buses go where. In fact, mom just told me that they will be taking a long bus trip from Bishan to Tampines (cos Dad hasn't been to the new Ikea) and on the bus, they will just talk and talk. How simple. How nice.

3 years ago, we found out that Mom contracted Breast Cancer, Stage One. She went through a masectomy and various follow-up tests and treatment procedures. Dad's job requires him to be based in Jakarta 3 weeks out of 4 - this means he could only be with her one week each month. For the 1st time, I saw Dad tear when Mom was still unconscious after being pushed out of the op theatre. In the recuperating weeks, he never left her. He was feeding her, cleaning her, bathing her, combing her hair, wearing clothes for her. When it was time for him to leave S'pore, he called me and told me to look after her, and that when I was free, to bring the kids over to cheer her up more often. Cos he was worried for her. I've never heard him talk like this in my life, until then.

They still talk on the phone every nite. She still squeezes toothpaste on his toothpaste each morning. And he still gives her his entire pay packet each month. And the most priceless sight to behold - they still hold hands whenever they walk together.

They may never get to read this blog. But this is my wish for them - that their love for each other will not be seen as weathered, but be known as a classic. That they will always choose to see the best of each other, even if the circumstances cover their eyes. And lastly, that they will know the Lord who has blessed them with such a stubborn love, loves them with His everlasting love!

Happy Anniversary Ma and Ba!