Not Enough Time

I often talk about not having enough time. Not enough time with the kids, with Alan, for myself. Yesterday I counselled a man who really ran out of time. He was in his 40s and has built for himself a name and a reputation in his arena of influence. But he has been stricken with cancer. Second time. Any tumour (diagnosed under this kind of cancer) that is bigger than 5cm is deadly. The first time (2006), his tumour was 15cm. He had it surgically removed. Doctor said he'll need a yr to recuperate to quality of life, and even so, it might never be the same again. With the amazing strength borrowed from his wife, he took 2 months to walk and by the 4th month, he was back to golf - the love of his life.

In the beginning of this month, he felt pain again. This time, the tumour was measured to be 26cm. Currently, he is torn between going for 6 cycles of chemo or to take the risk and remove it surgically again.
For either, he only has less than 20% of chance of making it. Either way, he was told he'll lose the quality of life.

When I met him, I saw a man full of fears. He was most worried about his two teenage children, he said, "I spoilt them crazy. How are they gonna live without me?" He's reluctant to leave his wife of 20 odd years. He's wondering if the chances of surviving is so low, should he just forget about any treatment and leave the money for his family? He is realising for the first time - He can't call the shots in his life now. There's nothing he can do to make his situation better. And time is running out.

He started blogging ferociously recently. He wanted to write his thoughts, his feelings, things he remember, things he had accomplished. He wants to leave a legacy for his children. He knows that one day, his children will forget the sound of his voice, his touch, his smell. But if they remember the legacy he left behind, he will always be in their heart and lives.

There is not enough time to do it all. To right the wrongs, to say all the sorrys, to give more attention to his wife and kids. He doesn't want to die. He wants to live. But there's not enough time.

I shared with him about Jesus. I told him to believe in a God of miracles. I've never seen a grown man cry this much this badly. I tried very hard to stay composed, almost feeling the emotional pain he is going through. I wanted to cry too.

Last nite, I received an sms. My boss (the person who recommended him to come see me) told me that this gentleman has just received Christ. Together with his wife. So glad to hear that!

This is the first time I'm counselling a terminally ill patient. Looking at the world through his perspective, I know understand "Not enough time" in a totally different way. I am believing for a miracle healing for him. And I know God will hear the cry of a desperate man and come and rescue him...

What about you? Have you recently complained of not having enough time?

Take care, my frens.