Maybe Baby?

I find myself being able to talk about it a little more only now. If you're quite close to us, you would've heard us talk about having our Baby No.3 in the year 2009. We've been talking about this for about 2 years now. But as Alan steps into his destiny to work in CCSS for this season of our lives, we've been talking more. Should we have our Baby No. 3? Should we concentrate on Meg and Joejoe and give them our attention and love and not dilute it? Can we afford the financial commitment? Are we getting too old? Do we still have the energy, the finesse, the joy & the courage to parent another life? Am I gonna quit CCSS, is Alan gonna change his job? Who's gonna look after baby? Can I be a SAHM? Are we good parents?

Questions, dilemmas, what we want, what God wants... sigh.

We didn't have everything prepared when we were expecting Meg and Joseph as well. I think we were most prepared in the arena of reading up & journalling. We read up soooo much, we knew what to expect and what was happening most of the time. I kept a pregnancy journal through the 38weeks of carrying Megan, and they both have a baby book - where I recorded pics, hospital tags, their "firsts" and milestones (abit like what Jasmine does in her lovely scrapbooks). I'm still adding on new things uptil now . Very proud of this!
We didn't have the money to get alot of things, but realised how creative we can get to still let our babies have everything, by our yardsticks.

But we've always dreamt of having a little girl to make our family "complete". I still feel the sadness when I tell my close frens Baby No. 3 might not come after all. Despite all we're worried about, I sometimes still get the surge of courage to tell myself and Alan "Let's do it!". I wanna experience the 9 magical months of pregnancy again, I wanna breastfeed again. I wanna relish in those baby moments again. But should I?

Megan and Joseph are growing up so fast - not just in their height, weight, or capabilities. But more so in their characters. I thank God they still cuddle up to us and ask us for hugs, kisses and tell us they love us. But it only seems like yesterday I was clearing Joseph's cradle cap, or trying to put a hairclip on Megan's fuzzy hair. Meg will be promoted to K2 in Dec and Joseph to K1. Gosh. We're even beginning to go home earlier each nite cos Meg has homework and spelling and Ting Xie already!

Well, God's thoughts are not my thoughts, His ways are not my ways. I will continue to seek His Say in this decision we need to make...

Sometime back, a colleague sent me these baby pics. So cute!








































Have a great weekend Frens!