Being Mommy

Read an article on ST on teen mommies forming a blogging community. Have just spent the last hour or so reading about 14 of these blogs. My heart goes out to them, and their babies. They are only kids themselves, except that they are now also mommies. A few of them are married to the boys who got them pregnant. Others blog about how much better their lives are now that they've broken up with the fathers of their babies. All the babies look very very cute - except one who had a pic with a cigarette in her mouth (hopefully it's copied and pasted).

I used to have a ministry working with mommies like these, with their hubbies. They were the ones who got the special marriage license from MCYS and wanted to learn some lifeskills as well as stuff that we teach in marriage preparation classes. The last class I taught, I remember meeting a very young couple with two kids. The younger son died at 4 months due to malnutrition. It's very heart-wrenching work. I still tear when I think about them.

Some of these mommies still can't quite give up their life habits, like clubbing, smoking, drinking. By anyone's calculation, their financial status is nothing to boast about. But there are also mommies working 2-3 jobs to put milk in the bottle. There are also mommies passionate about breastfeeding. Above all, these are all mommies who have been blessed with a gift of life and they are trying to make it work.

I recall going through a myriad of issues when I was first pregnant. I was worried about money, about my abilities, my figure, my marriage, can I breastfeed, can I give birth successfully. Will my husband still love me? Will I be a good mommy? Will my child be normal, healthy, good-looking and smart? Now how is this necessarily different from teen moms?

There are some readers from the public opening criticising these mommies and slamming them for their choice to give birth to their babies out of wedlock. Some called them awful names, labels - as if it's ok to judge another this way. If we're not ready to help, why bother to let your comments be heard? Who cares what you think? If you emphathise with them, avail yourself to do something to help. Donate a packet of diapers or two. Share parenting tips. Be a mentor to these young daddies. Don't just sit there and shoot your mouth off and sign off with a cowardly nickname. Whether their decision is a mistake or not is of no consequence to anyone else but themselves.

This article really touched a chord in me. If you have time, do read some of their blogs and get a glimpse of their lives... it may not be that different from ours afterall.