Complain Complain Complain!

(Musings)

Sounds familiar? And I bet everyone of us have complained - to varying degrees. Some of us complain non-stop, over every single thing (big and small). Some of us complain occasionally (or at least what we think haha).

Parents with growing kids (boys and girls, 1, 2, 3 or more kids), husbands complaining about their wives and vice versa, wives complaining about their husbands for not doing their part etc etc etc. Employees complaining about their employers, supervisees complaining about their supervisors. Complain complain complain.

And when we complain we release a lot of negativities - creating a negative atmosphere at home, workplace or wherever we are. And we are feeding our spirit bitterness, negativity. Very soon, our countenance will show. We will be unhappy, sulking, grumbling, short/quick tempered, etc. We will get mad with our spouse, our children, our friends and our colleagues over the silliest thing, over a comment, over an action, over a question etc. We may even get bitter at God for not righting every single wrong, for every single thing that is not going our way.

Sounds terrible right? In the last 3+ years, I've checked myself on this issue many many times. Today, on the very first day of my leave, I sat, meditated, reflected, read and checked myself again. How's my record?

Are my expectations too high? I admit - some issues, yes I have high expectations. And these expectations were not met. So too bad. Next time, temper your expectations. Other issues - none. No expectations, just plain absence of cow-sense by people. Or rather taken for granted - simple things like plain courtesy - saying please and thank you, a hello or hi when we meet, putting each other above yourself (isn't that what the Bible says we ought to do), doing the right thing and be less concerned about protocol/face whatever.

And so, I've found myself complaining many times. But through it all, I've also matured and acknowledged that afterall, an organisation is made up of people - some with good manners/sense and others, no cow sense at all. I have on many occasions chosen to ignore and have chosen my response appropriately - to love and cover up "sins" and looked the other way. On other occasions - I fought like a fighter who's not about to give up any ground, to my last breadth. I've made progress on some issues, I've compromised or retreated on others. Sometimes I've spoke up too fast, to the dismay of my wise wife. At other times, I spoke up strongly because the espoused view is wrong and I have to right a wrong perception (and was willing to pay a price for it).

It has been a journey of faith, a learning journey. I sat at the feet of 2 leaders, mentored, observed, emulated, immitated. There are still a lot more to learn but my time is up. I learnt a lot in the last few years. Most of all, I thank God for the last 3+ years of ministry, of moulding. And I thank God for Sally who stood by me, heard my complains and grumbles (actually it's both ways haha), celebrated the victories together, cried together, who supported the call and supported this transition. Thank you honey for putting up my idiosyncratic habits. I love you very very much!

And so, everyone, learn to complain less and appreciate more. A little sunshine, an intentional kind word, TLC (even though you do not feel like it) will go a long way. It neutralises the tense situation. And the receiver of the kind word/TLC, please respond in kind and not snap back.

And guess what? I found a movement started by a pastor - called "A Complaint Free World). I've taken something from the website here - about complaining.

"Your thoughts create your world and your words indicate your thoughts. When you eliminate complaining from your life you will enjoy happier relationships, better health and greater prosperity. The Complaint Free program helps you set a trap for your own negativity and redirect your mind towards a more positive and rewarding life".

Check out their website.

So how does it work? (Adapted from website)
"Begin to wear the bracelet (it's a purple braclet), on either wrist.
When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing (it’s ok, everyone does) move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again.
If you hear someone else who is wearing a bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you’re going to do this, you must move your bracelet first!
Stay with it. It may take many months but when you reach 21 days you will find that your entire life is happier, more loving and more enjoyable."
(Why 21 days? Scientists believe it takes 21 days to form a habit.

So, even though you do not have that particular purple bracelet, as far as I'm concerned, any bracelet is fine or no bracelet at all - more importantly, is the attitude and the concept behind it. Cool isn't it?

So, shall we start? Day 1 of achieving Complaint Free programme. :-) Be thankful to the One who gives all of us Good Gifts! Thank You Abba Father for the wonderful Christmas Gift! Thank You for Sally, Megan and Joseph! Thank You for our good friends - the Kongs, the Chias, the Tans, the Ows and many more that I wouldn't have been able to list out. Thank you for a new job in the public service in such economic times! Thank you for my working Broadband - which I shall stop complaining about the faulty and slow line - which incidentally have been fixed... etc etc.

My Daddy checking out.