Grow Old Along With Me... a Vow 7 Years Ago

What do we know.... it's been 7 years....

It's 31st March and tomorrow, on 1st April 2007, is our 7th wedding anniversary. We were married on 1st April 2000. (How can anyone forget right?? April Fool's Day at the turn of the century...)

As I look back on our marriage, all I can say is "Thank you my Heavenly Father! for sending me such a wonderful gift, for giving me such a good wife, who never ceases to amaze me with her profound wisdom and insight... and truly a Proverbs 31 wife". Of course there's room for improvement (who doesn't right? I'm included - not a perfect husband but trying to be one - a good husband and father.*)

Has it been a fantastic 7 years? A definite Yes!
Has it been smooth sailing - argument free, etc...? A definite No!
But is this journey worth it - all the joys and tears? A resounding Yes!

I still remember vividly 7 years ago, the days leading up to the wedding. Most of our blog readers will know that Sally and I have had a tough prep to our wedding. My parents were against our marriage due to spiritual differences. We're Christians and they're not (not yet. someday they will be!). I was almost disowned. Sally and I were at our new flat every night, painting, plastering, hacking down an altar left by the previous owner, pouring bleach onto the floor, scrubbing every bit, every nook and corner.

Our nest was empty then. We do not have enough money to buy anything. The previous owner left a working fridge and a working washing machine for us. We were blessed with a TV from colleagues of CCSS. We were also blessed with a bed frame (from Pennsylvania House was blessed by another friend - who got her bonus and bought it for us. The most expensive thing in the house we got was our King Koil mattress.

What else? Our wedding package was also paid for by a good friend (whom we found out later). It was during a Life Musical rehearsal, at an offsite production at Wesley when we got a call from the wedding boutique to tell us that someone just walked in and paid for a $4k plus wedding package for us. I think Sal and I broke down and cried. And then we had another friend who got us a wedding car - an Audi A8 for the weekend - FOC. We had no extra cash for honeymoon. So, we were intending to go up north for a short trip BUT one day at work, my ex-colleague in PSD, walked into my cubicle and said, "I've got something for you. I won it but my boyfriend and I struggled over it, quarreled over it and God told me to give this to you". I cried. (Yep! PBea always say that I'm a major hum-pow. haha! What response can I possibly have when God showers His blessing and love). I opened it - it was a 7 day trip (I think it was 7 days) to Korea - air tickets and hotel. (Jaw dropped?). Of course, Korea wasn't ideal - the itinerary was to see temples etc. So we changed it to Gold Coast.

At this point - aren't you amazed? at God's grace and love and blessing? I'm not wanting to boast about ourselves. Even if I'm boasting, I'm boasting what our God - whose name is Jesus Christ, can do. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you. He is a mighty God and a good God, a Saviour who knows what is going on in our lives.

On April 1st, my team of brothers went over to Sally's place. Did all the funny stuff her friends asked us to do - eg identify which lip stick mark belonged to Sally (Btw, I got it at first pick :-)), ate some eggplant with green chilli and osyter sause - yuck! and sang a Chinese song for her. Finally, I managed to see my bride. And Sal asked - "Where're my flowers?"... and the whole room went silent.... Drats! "ALAN SIM - YOU FORGOT MY FLOWERS!!!..." I turned and looked at my brothers for help. You should have seen our faces. hahaha... (we left it in the fridge to keep it fresh!). And Terence, my good brother who served us that day by being our F1 but safe driver, "I'll be back in 15 mins with your flowers" and off he sped...

At the ceremony in the afternoon, it was pouring... As it's April Fool's Day, our dear officiating pastor whom we loved very much (Pastor Beatrice Kang), decided to play a trick on us and did the disappearing act. Got us worried for a while. hahah... Well, what can I say, what an amazing wedding and started by worshipping God... then the processional music was played - a song sung by Faye Wong - Wo Yuan Yi... and when Sally walked in, that's it - all the tear ducts started pouring... not dripping - pouring... and that included my friends and colleagues who knew about our circumstances, and who were there as our witnesses. I honestly think that it was probably the wedding with most tissues used. I guess they were tears of joy... We made it (by God's grace) despite the odds. We certainly had a lot of laughter too (many thanks to PBea - who cracked many jokes and made everybody laughed and called Sal and I - Jiam Tao Lo Ti (aka French Loaves - for both of us towers over her... haha! - sorry PBea - can't resist the pun there).

What a wedding... But the wedding was only but 1 day... but a marriage a lifetime. And it is a lot of hard work. Both Sal and I had to work hard at our marraige - it was a blending of 2 lives - 2 distinct people - with different makeup and characteristics. I have a I personality. Sal has a SC personality. So of course, we had our cold wars and arguments but we will always try and work it out. Giving and taking, seeking to understand each other, putting each other above ourselves and sometimes accepting each other's flaws (I remember the seminar by Dr Chapman - mentioning how he "came to terms" with his wife's idiosyncracies - of leaving the cupboard doors opened and not closing them).

And I really have to say that Sal gave a lot to our marriage - even today, of having to manage my different schedules - my work schedules which warrants me to work weekends sometimes, going for the Commander's Summit (ie a few days away from home), my ministry schedule (sometimes Sat, sometimes Sunday). (Not easy - at times I'm really so stressed up and really feel like giving one up - either ministry or work... having to take into account the family, Sal's feelings, the kids, work - which is also a full time call for me and worship ministry and having to get the kids to continually adjust to different DLs/Nurseries almost on weekly basis).
(Once, Sal was pregnant and in church alone, the nice sister who sat next to her asked her - almost saying poor thing - "Is your husband a Christian? Are you here alone?" and Sal couldn't bring herself to tell her - nope. my husband is up there on stage.)

So, as I approach our 7th wedding anniversary, what can I say but thank you God - for giving me a wonderful wife, my mate whom I will walk my life journey with. Like they say - Behind every successful man, is a woman. I'll say a Big Amen to that. And that woman in my life is Sally Choo. I can't imagine my life without her.

The vow I made to her on 1st April 2000, before God and all the witnesses - I intend to fulfill - to love and to cherish, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, for as long as we both shall live.

Grow Old Along With Me... has a 2nd part - The Best is Yet to Be.

Signing off for now, from a husband-on-an-on-going-journey-to-make-my-wife-feel-like-it's-Valentine's-Day-everyday-but-somehow-still-a-long-way-to-go.

* Incidentally, in the gel that our L-cell played some years back, my epitaph shall write, Here lies a Good Husband, a Good Father, and a Man after God's Heart. To me, that's the most important of all. I don't really care what titles or achievements I can get, or how impactful my ministry through worship can be, if I can't lead and manage my household well (ie be a good husband to my wife and a good father to my kids), then I think I've failed for I've not fulfilled my primary role.... read a quote recently "Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty".